3 Days and 2 Nights
by GoodbyeBlueSky
Summary: What happens.... when Quistis and Zell get locked up in a closet? ::shrugs:: read and find out. .-.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8, or the characters, I don't own the power puff girls. AND I DON'T OWN ANY WEED, KAY?!

A/N: My fic got removed earlier because of the rating, so I had to change it to an "R" rating. Sorry 'bout that folks. I wish the can just warn me instead. God. -.-;

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Chap. 1: Don't Keep Condoms in Your Closet

"ZELL, we're gonna go leave now!" Irvine said. The gang except for Zell, were going on a 2-day vacation to New York. Zell, on the other hand, didn't feel like going because.. Well, he had certain problems there that he didn't want to re-visit. "Alright man, y'don't have to fuckin' scream.." Zell replied, pissed because he was taking a nap. He began to say his farewells to them.. He walked up to Squall and was about to hug him, but Squall stepped to the right, causing Zell to fall forward. "Zell, don't be gay.." Squall said. He turned around and walked to his car. "Jesus Christ man, you could have just told me." Zell helped himself up. "Whatever." Squall answered. "Bye Zell," Rinoa kissed him on the cheek, then grabbed his collar and pulled him closer "and don't mistreat my dog.. or else!" She then pushed him away from her face. "Okay Rinoa… Don't worry." Zell started to sweat nervously. "Don't worry Zell, nothing's gonna happen!" Selphie said, being her cheery self. "Okay Selphie, see you on Monday!" As soon as Selphie turned around and was about to leave, she felt someone slap her ass. She turned around to see Zell giving a cheesy smile. She punched his nuts and stomped towards the car. Zell couldn't say anything but try to catch his breath. The car then raced off, leaving a cloud of dust.

Zell picked himself up, still feeling a bit queasy. He walked toward his room and opened his door. He went toward his bed, and pulled something underneath it. "Heheh, time to smoke that weed!" He then started to roll it in some paper, he then lighted it up and puffed it. He turned the TV on, leaving it on the PowerPuff Girls. "Oh shit, YeYUH!" He was so happy it was on. KNOCK KNOCK! "Oh shit!" Zell got a pillow and opened the window, and tried to fan the smell out. "I'm coming man, CHILL!" He decided that was good enough. He threw his weed bag under his bed, and threw the weed he was smoking out the window. He walked up to the door, straightened himself out, and opened the door. "Hey Zell." Quistis greeted happily. "Oh hey, whassup." Zell said looking down at the floor. "So... May I come in?" Quistis asked. "Yeah sure babe..." She walked in and felt a hand on her ass. She blushed, looked back at Zell and smiled. "So what were you doin'?" Quistis asked, sitting on Zell's bed changing the channel of the TV. "OH.. Just resting..." Zell said.

He sat himself on Quistis' lap. He lifted his hand towards her cheek and started to stroke it. Quistis blushed again, and lifted her head up and kissed Zell's lips. Their tongues began to enter each others mouth and they played around with their tongues, then they reluctantly pulled away. Both were feeling a bit horny. "That was nice..."Quistis said, "You wanna... well.. fu-" She was interrupted by Zell. "Hell yeah!" Zell interrupted excitingly. He quickly ran to the closet to find his condoms. " God where the hell are they.." Zell said. "Lemme help." Quistis said, walking towards the closet, but she then tripped over Angelo's doggy toy and fell onto Zell, who then fell in the closet along with Quistis. The door slammed shut. "Goddamnit." Zell stood up and tried to open the door. "Oh my god, what the fuck?!" The door wouldn't open. "Holy shit, it's locked!" Zell said, falling to his knees. "We're gonna be stuck here forever!" Zell cried out loud. Quistis didn't know what to think. "How long did you say the guys were out for?" Quistis asked, trying to keep calm. "For 2 friggin' days.." Zell said leaning his arm on the closet door, resting his forehead on his forearm. Quistis was trying to search for something, a hammer, cell phone, dildo, anything to help her survive or get out of this mess. "Well, at least I found the condoms." Quistis said, sighing, letting her back fall onto the wall, and slowly pounding her head on it.

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This is my first time writing a fic. So please tone down the harshness. .-.;


	2. Chapter 2

Chap. 2: Secrets Revealed

"....And that's the first time I ever got laid." Zell explained. "Wow.. you got laid by a one legged, one eyed, one breasted, 9 fingered, midget hooker in New York? How drunk were you?" Quistis asked, giggling at the thought of him and that hooker. "Oh I can't even be able to explain... You see, Irvine explained everything and what happened in the morning.. He told me that I offered her 25 cents and some lint I found in my pocket.. Cheap ass hooker." Zell sighed and put his head on Quistis' lap. "What time is it?" Zell asked, staring up at the ceiling. "...It's 6:31" Quistis said, looking at her watch. "Damn, it's already been 7 hours. I'm so fucking hungry too.." Zell said, groaning. His hands started roaming around unconsciously. "Hey, what's this..?" His hands wrapped around this piece of electronic hardware. It was a video camera, Irvine's to be exact. "Whoa, here's Irvine's video camera. Squall told me this guy video tapes a bunch of weird shit, or so he thinks.." He pressed play, and they both watched the little LCD screen.

It shows Irvine standing over Zell's empty bed, and he looks obviously drunk. A zipper sound is heard, then a splash of liquid. Irvine peed on Zell's bed. "I'm gonna kill that sunuvuh beech.." Zell said, feeling furious, but was still curious and watched on. Next clip shows him in the bathroom, wearing make up, and one of Selphie's dresses. He had probably oranges under the dress and was basically groping himself. He then, unfortunately, pulled out his magic stick and started doing some magic. "Holy SHIT!!" Zell looked away, but Quistis was still watching. "God, this is sick!" He turned it off, and put it aside. Quistis secretly kept it closer to herself. "I'ma go to sleep. That'll hopefully take my mind off of food, AND what I just saw. G'night Quisty.." Zell kissed her forehead. "Good night, Zelly." Quistis said, smiling. As soon as Zell was dead asleep, Quisitis turned Irvine's video camera back on. Outside of the closet, soft moans can be heard.

(Next Morning)

...A cockroach can be seen from afar, feasting on the little pieces of candy crumbs(is that what you call it?). A toothpick is then seen from up in the air and stabs the cockroach right through it's abdomen. Zell is shown without a shirt, with a big long beard and a moustache, crouching in the corner. He quickly crawls towards the cockroach, anticipating the taste of it. Then something flashed by, and crunching noises are heard. "QUISTIS! That was MINE!!!" Zell said furiously. "Well, it's already in my stomach, so too bad." Quistis stuck her tongue out. Zell ran(more like crawled) to the corner next to him and cried. "Zell, shut up, I'll let you have the next cockroach I get, 'kay?" Quistis said. "And you can play with my dust bunny!" She gave a smile, throwing it at Zell's face. "...kay.." Zell slowly walked to the other corner, playing with the dust bunny. Quistis brought out a container full of dead fire ants and yelled, "LUNCH!!" She made a little bonfire out of pencil shavings. She stuck each of the dead ants into a 5 inch long needle, and put it over the fire till it cooked. "Oh my fuckin' god, fire ants, AGAIN?! Why the hell can't black ants, they're sweeter, and easier on my stomach!" Zell complained. "Because you're gonna end up eating the whole thing" Quistis replied, setting the now full cooked fire ants on a newspaper plate. "There, lunch is ready." Quistis said, taking her share of ants. "Ugh, whatever man.." Zell took a teeny tiny bite, and gulped it all down..

Zell just sat there in the corner, zoning off. He was staring at the wall, imagining himself punching it and breaking free.....

He snapped.

He stood up in a mad rage and starting giving punches at the wall. He gave 1.., 2.., 500000000 punches at it. He slowly tired out and slumped against the surprisingly dent free wall. Quistis was up holstering herself on the four walls. She seemed somewhat surprised, but more concerned and pitying look. "Zell, you know you can't punch for shit, so quit trying.." Quistis said, jumping down. "Well at least I'M doing something, not just being a masturbating rock in a corner everday." Zell said, crossing his arms looking away at her, facing the corner of the closet. "I need weed" Zell said to himself. He took pieces of the carpet, took a piece of news paper, and rolled it into smokable, yet, not smokable replacement. He took two toothpicks and started rubbing them together till he got some sparks. The sparks then light the "replacement weed" and he started puffing. "Oh yeah cough**** this is the cough**** the shit." Zell said, forcing himself to enjoy it. He rolled up in a ball and smoked away..

God, I suck at ending a chapter, whatever. W333333333333333333eeeeeeeeee ;


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